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For friends and family

When someone you love shuts down or avoids you, it hurts. These steps help you stay connected without adding pressure.

1

It's not about you

Pulling away is often how PTSD protects someone from feeling overwhelmed. Your steady presence still matters.

2

Keep invitations low-pressure

"I'm grabbing coffee Saturday, join if you feel like it" is easier than a firm commitment.

3

Show up without demands

Short, regular texts with no question to answer keep the door open.

4

Do things side by side

Fishing, a drive, working on a project. Many veterans connect better doing than talking.

5

Don't push for war stories

Let them share when and if they want. Listen without fixing.

6

Know the warning signs

Talk of being a burden, giving things away, or no future. Call 988, press 1, together.

7

Take care of yourself

Supporting someone is hard. Military OneSource and the VA offer help for families too.

A short guide for supporters

When plans get cancelled

  • Reply short and warm: "No worries at all. Rain check whenever."
  • Don't ask why or push to reschedule right away.
  • Leave the door open. Invite again another time, in the same easy way.
  • Remind yourself: it's not a verdict on you or your friendship.

Staying connected without pressure

  • Send small, regular texts that need no answer.
  • Offer side-by-side time: a drive, a game, a walk, fixing something.
  • Keep plans short with an easy exit: "an hour for coffee."
  • Notice and thank small moments of contact, without making a big deal.

Looking after yourself

  • Have your own support: friends, a group, or counseling.
  • Military OneSource and Vet Centers offer free counseling for many family members.
  • Set limits you can keep. Steady beats intense.
  • Do things you enjoy. You can't pour from an empty cup.

Texts you can send

  • "No need to reply. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you."
  • "I'm around this weekend if you want company. Totally fine if not."
  • "Saw this and thought of you."

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